10 Tips For Changing Diapers Like A Pro

Does it scare you to think you will probably have to change diapers in the near future? When I say probably, I don’t mean probably at all. I mean most likely. And by most likely, I mean definitely. You will be changing diapers on the reg in a few short months if you are an expecting dad, or you are already waist deep in baby poop right now. But don’t fret – changing diapers isn’t that bad. Except for when it is.

As a new dad, there really isn’t a whole lot for you to contribute. Basically all you have done up to this point is provide some essential genetic information via sperm. The rest your wife has done. Even birthing the thing is all on her shoulders (or hips rather). Afterwards, you probably won’t be very involved in feeding it. Or clothing it (unless that’s your thing – I’m not judging). Indirectly, you are sheltering it, unless your wife wears the daddy pants and brings home the bacon (again, not judging). She will most likely take care of bathing it and putting lotion on it and manicuring the nails and fixing the hair (if there is any), etc. etc. Hell, she will basically hold it 95% of the time and leave you one chore and one chore alone.

Changing the diaper.

I bet you thought you would never change a diaper. I bet you put your foot down and said ‘I’ll never change a poopy diaper.’ You might still think that, even after the baby is born. That’s fine. I did.

But what the hell are you going to do? How are you going to contribute to raising this child of yours? Sure, you can take your son fishing or hunting or to sporting events or teach him to be a man, yada yada yada. Or if you are having a girl you can take her fishing and hunting and to sporting events and teach her how to be a woman (notice how fishing, hunting, and sports will teach a boy to be a man and a girl to be a woman). But what will you contribute for the first – say – year? Your wife has pretty much everything else covered.

You know what I say? Embrace it. That’s right. Embrace the diaper. Think about it – we kind of got off easy on this one. We don’t have to carry a baby inside us for 9 months while dealing with the crazy hormones. We don’t have to birth the thing, which to me seems like a mix between taking a baby sized deuce and torture, with lots of blood and screaming. Once the baby is born, we don’t really have to be responsible for keeping the thing alive, since your wife will be all over that. To me, changing diapers seems kind of ‘easy’ compared to those things.
So I say embrace the title of ‘diaper changer.’ Become a diaper changing pro. I can tell you one thing right now – I change a better diaper than my wife. Hands down. Everything about the change is better, the speed, the efficiency, the quality of the new diaper’s placement. Everything down to the butt cream application. I am the diaper master. And I’m not knocking my wife’s diaper changing skills, because she can change a mean diaper. But I’m just better. The funny thing is she is OK with me being better. I guess that has something to do with making me feel like I am contributing. Or that she doesn’t want to do it.

real men change diapers

Do you need to practice before the baby comes? Hell no. If someone else gives you their baby to ‘practice on,’ politely refuse that job. Trust me, you will get plenty of practice once it comes. No need to practice on someone else’s baby.
Below are 10 tips to help you become the diaper changing master.

10 Diaper Changing Tips

#1 – get a changing table. This table will become your workbench, if you will. It will organize all the different tools for changing a wet or soiled diaper in a jiffy. Make sure the table can strap your baby in, you don’t want it to roll off while you are reaching for a new pack of wipes (once again, no judging if it happens).

#2 – establish a routine. I am all about routines, whether it’s bed time, meal time, or diaper changing time. I lay my baby on the table a certain way, remove the onesie and hold the legs/hands a certain way, and have the wipes, new diaper, butt cream all in a certain place. Your baby will get used to ‘the routine,’ and eventually it will ‘assume the position’ for you.

#3 – prep the new diaper before you change the old one. This is a no-brainer for me, but my wife never does this. It is why I am so much faster. Unfold the new diaper, pull all the side creases out and lay it flat under your baby’s old diaper (unless it was a blowout). When you remove the old one, your baby is already on top of the clean one.

#4 – what if you are on the road? This is tricky. My wife organizes (or doesn’t organize) the diaper bag, so finding what I need can be a challenge. It’s all about prepping your space before you dive in. Simulate your changing table on the ground, bed, couch, public bathroom, or wherever you are. This will increase your speed and efficiency and will keep you from scrambling to hold onto your baby while digging for whatever.

#5 – keep your baby occupied. Kicking legs and wandering hands make for an unefficient and unpleasant diaper changing experience. Give them a toy to play with. My daughter likes this Winnie the Pooh book, which is totally appropriate in this situation.

#6 – time yourself. Since you are making this your domain, become the pro. Time yourself like it’s a 40 time. Under a minute is pretty good. Under 30 seconds is approaching pro territory. But don’t cut corners. Remember ‘quality over speed.’ If you can do a 30 second change while applying butt cream and making sure the diaper provides full coverage, without leaving any shat behind, you truly are a master.

Diaper Genie Essentials Diaper Disposal Pail

#7 – proper disposal. Wet diapers are OK going into the regular trash. Soiled diapers are a big no-no. Get a Diaper Genie or take them immediately outside. Proper diaper disposal is just as important as proper wiping technique.

#8 – wiping technique. Speaking of wiping technique, I can wipe clean a pretty bad pooh with one wipe. Sometimes it gets dicey and I’ll go with two. But for the most part, it’s all about where you start and how you fold. You want to get the most mileage out of each wipe, so get full coverage on one side before folding. Then fold in half, then in half, and keep going until it’s all clean or you run out. Also, remember that for girls, you always wipe AWAY from the front. Front to back. Front to back. Get all the cracks.

#9 – butt cream. When is it necessary? It depends on your baby’s skin. Mine has awesome skin. It is never dry. I rarely put it on. If it is red, or if she has been sitting in pooh for a while, it is a good idea to apply a little bit. If the rash doesn’t go away after a while, it might be a fungus (yeast infection). A little athlete’s foot cream or Vagisil (sorry, I hate that word) will do the trick, but consult your pediatrician.

#10 – wipes for wet only? This is a good question, and is a toss-up I think. If it is what I call a ‘heavy pee diaper,’ or if it is so completely saturated that any more might come leaking out, I say a quick all over wipe is a good hygiene practice. Otherwise, I usually don’t. Bonus tip – you don’t have to change the wet ones right away. Let them fill up a bit. Our daughter sleeps almost all night without a new diaper (as long as she doesn’t soil it).

Blow Outs – A Bad Day

There is no mincing words about blow outs. They are a bad day all around, for you, your baby, your washing machine, everybody. I once went in to get my daughter in the morning and there was poop everywhere. In her hair, in her hands and in between her fingers, smeared on her cheeks and lips, all over her onesie, covering the sheets and her teddy bear. About the only place there wasn’t a ton of pooh was inside her freaking diaper. It was a bad day all around. In those situations, you might use up an entire pack of wipes and still leave some feces behind. When this happens to you, and it will, just strip your baby down and take them into the shower. Or give your naked and stinking baby to your wife to shower with while you take all the sheets, onesies, diaper, and teddy bear to the dumpster.

On a related note, your baby might decide to finish what they started while their diaper is off. This is especially true with little boys, as the cooler air ‘activates’ their little fire hoses into full throttle. Don’t panic. Quickly cover up the eruption and minimize the damage. It doesn’t have to be just number one. My daughter routinely blasted poop once her diaper was off. Cover and minimize the damage. These events will slow down your efficiency, but they happen. Good luck –

Which tips from above do you use while changing diapers? What’s your speed? Let me know in the comment section below. Thanks for reading!

Lifesaving Equipment For The First Time Dad

You may not think of baby items as ‘equipment,’ but the items below will be just as important to you as a first time dad as a hard hat for a miner or a scalpel for a surgeon. There is a lot of junk out there in the world of baby stuff (baby holster?). For example, why on earth would anyone in their right mind buy a wipes warmer? It’s not like we are living in the ice age or something. I was raised with cold wipes and I turned out alright. Anyway, I digress. Let’s get to it.

Diaper Disposal

This is an amazing invention. Diaper pails seal in the smell from rotten baby diapers. Instead of having to take each diaper outside to the dumpster or trash can (because just one will literally stink up your entire house), you just open the radiation leak-proof lid and pop it in. Once the sealed bag is full, remove and replace. There are a couple on the market, with the Munchkin Arm and Hammer Diaper Pail and the Diaper Genie Elite Diaper Disposal Pail leading the way. The Munchkin sprinkles some baking soda on each layer as you dump in the diapers. This is truly a game changer, and every home should have at least one if there is a poop factory (baby) living inside.

Baby Carriers

There will come a time when your wife or partner will need a break from her baby. This doesn’t mean she loves it less. She will just go nuts if she doesn’t get out and do something normal. So you will come home from work one day and she will hand you the baby and say “it’s your turn, I’m going out for a while.” You have never been alone with your baby and you won’t know what to do. This is where a good baby carrier comes in. You could either hold the baby the entire time while sitting on the couch (not a bad way to go), or you could put the baby in a carrier and free up your hands to multitask. You’re probably asking, “guys don’t multitask.” Well, a baby carrier allows you to do other things while your baby sleeps securely on your chest. Need a new beverage while watching the big game? No need to try to lay down the baby. Are you grilling up some burgers or some random meat? Flip away. Your buddies won’t have to skip your turn to shuffle when they come over for poker night (ok, that might be a little loud for a newborn).

Anyway, these carriers aren’t expensive and your wife will love them as well. BabyBjorn, Infantino, Beco, Britax, and Boba Air make great carriers, and she will love the Mobi Wraps.

Play Pens

While your baby is still small and new and immobile, play pens offer you a place to change diapers while on the go or in another room from your changing table. It is also a good place to store baby essentials, like lots and lots of diapers and wipes. But as your baby gets more mobile, the play pen becomes a lifesaver. If you are alright with watching your baby every second while they are awake, you might not need one. If you have other things to do (and don’t think this makes you a bad dad or anything), invest in a play pen, and particularly, a travel play pen. Just plop your baby in there, and it will play with toys for hours at a time. You know that everything inside is safe, so no need for constant watching. As your baby gets older, it might feel like it’s being put inside a prison, because that is essentially what play pens are – walled enclosures with soft, dull objects and finger food. But they have the potential to keep your baby entertained well past the 1 year mark.

Travel pens are great because they can double as a crib away from home. Set it up outside at the lake while you fish, or on the green while you work on your short game. Gracco’s Pack ‘n Play is a great option, but others from Joovy and Cosco are great as well. As your baby outgrows the pen, there are other options that expand the walls like the North States Super Yard or the Baby Kids Play Pen.

Sleep Aids

Some babies sleep well on their own. Some. Most hate bedtime even from a very early age. This is a time of the evening that you and your wife can get some serious things done, like cleaning up all the messes from the day, or not doing anything and just relaxing, or spending some alone time together (oh yeah!). Bedtime is sacred time. But it won’t be sacred if your baby doesn’t go to sleep and just screams bloody murder all night long. Sleep aids will keep your sanity, because without everyone (including your baby) getting a good nights sleep, you will go insane, hate life, and have a miserable existence (my experience anyway).

Download some white noise, rain sounds, or other soothing tunage to play for your baby all night. You can also buy those white noise devices, like the HoMedics sound relaxation machine. Lights are also great for babies to look up at. The Munchkin Nursery projector and sound system projects night lights and plays soothing sounds for your baby. There is also a toy that plays sounds and projects stars on the ceiling, which is my daughter’s favorite. To appease your wife, you will need some kind of baby monitor (video or just sound) so she doesn’t feel the need to check on your baby every 3 minutes during the night to make sure it’s still alive.

Bassinet

Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper Cambria Bassinet, Toffee

Unless you want your newborn baby sleeping in bed with you every night, you will want a bed height bassinet. This item is a true lifesaver. Your wife will thank you for knowing the baby is right beside her, but not in bed with both of you. Enough said about that. The Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper Bassinet is a great option, but there are several others available as well.

Final Thoughts

These five pieces of baby equipment will become some of your favorite toys. They save you time, patience, and sanity. Not only will you greatly appreciate their existence, but your wife or partner will be grateful for them several times over. If you are preparing for your first baby, make sure you add these items to your arsenal sooner rather than later. Good luck –
What are some baby gear items that you cannot live without? Let us know below. Thanks for reading!